Car Ride Conversations
by 20 pounds of crazy
Summary: Takes place during S1E05. Bill and Hicks teach Gary about some cop terms on their ride to Pennsylvania.


"Hey guys, Dr. Rosen called. He said he needs us to come up now," Bill said to the three others in the conference room. Gary was playing with his badge, Nina was making coffee, and Hicks was throwing his baseball trying to impress Nina.

Nina went to grab the keys to her newest car when Bill stopped her. "Not so fast, Nina," he said, and then smiled. "We're taking my car."

Hicks didn't know why, but Gary and Nina simultaneously groaned. "Great, that's just what I need," Nina muttered. "Whiplash."

Now he understood.

"I can drive," Gary offered to Nina who shook her head.

"I have no good options," she said to Hicks.

"Hicks, bring a barf bag," said Gary. Making sure his badge was in his pocket, he left the room.

"Seriously, guys?" Bill said. "I'm not _that_ bad of a driver. I get things done. That's how I roll."

"Whatever Bill!" shouted Gary from his office.

* * *

><p>The car ride was actually going pretty smoothly. Bill was driving, Hicks had shotgun, and Nina and Gary were in the back. Gary never put down his shiny badge. Nina, on the other hand, refused to look at hers.<p>

"I still don't understand why we need these badges," Nina complained. "It's as if I'm not even _needed_ anymore."

"Hey!" interjected Gary. "I like my badge. It's cool."

Hicks laughed. "Bill's gonna have to give you advice on how to use it."

Gary's face lit up. "Yeah, Bill! Teach me how to use it!"

Bill threw Hicks a sideways glance. "OK, here's what you do. When someone asks you a question, you pull the badge out, throw it in their face, and say 'DCIS, you don't ask questions, we do'. Got it?"

Gary threw the badge at Bill. "DCIS, you don't ask questions!"

It hit him in the face, causing him to swerve and almost collide with another car. "Gary, you're supposed to hold on to the badge, not actually throw it at them," said Nina. She grabbed it from Bill. Gary held his hands out expectantly. "You get this when the car ride's over."

He pouted. "Bill, floor it! I want my badge."

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Gary still didn't stop asking Nina for the badge back.<p>

"Sorry Gare," she said. "I'm keeping us alive." She went back to looking at her phone.

Gary was sifting through her text messages. "Rachel, I'm still here if you want to talk about it… No, Saturday isn't good for me… I'm going to have to reschedule tonight, I have to work… I miss you too!"

"Gary, stop!" Nina said.

"I'm _bored!_" he complained.

Hicks cut in, trying to stop their bickering. "Hey Gary, I'm sure Bill has some other things to teach you."

"Yeah Bill, teach me some other things with my badge," pleaded Gary.

Bill thought for a moment. "Hm… Well, keep it in your back pocket. Take it out with one hand; don't fidget with it, and be confident. It makes you look badass."

"That's a swear word," said Gary. "My mother won't let me use swear words."

"It makes you look 'tough', then," he retaliated.

"I've always wondered," started Hicks. "Do those lines in the movies work? Like, 'respect the badge!' and 'eyes to yourself' and stuff like that?"

"Respect the badge!" Gary said loudly. "Yeah. It works!"

Bill and Hicks laughed.

* * *

><p>As they got closer to the school, Gary started looking at the wavelengths. He laughed. "Alex Hardick is such a loser! OMG I know." He looked at Nina. "What does OMG mean?"<p>

Before she could reply, something else caught his attention. "Jenny failed her Calc test. Colon, parenthesis."

"That's supposed to be a frown, Gary," said Nina.

"What's supposed to be a frown?" asked the transducer. Not even waiting for an answer, he went back to learning about high school culture. "Chelsea Hanson wasn't invited to the party on Friday because she cheated on Aaron with Roger… LOL, Mr. Matthews is a sucky teacher… Did you see Shannon epicly fail yesterday?"

"Gary you're supposed to be scanning for important things," Bill reminded him. "Look for the victims, what connects them, things like that."

"I'm trying Bill," Gary said. "There's too much stuff! Facebook and Twitter and Youtube and Google Plus and Tumblr. I can't _find_ anything important. You need to use your gun."

"Why does he think everything can be solved with my gun?" Bill muttered to Hicks, shaking his head.

* * *

><p>They made the trip in record time, thanks to Bill going at least twenty miles over the speed limit at all times. Dr. Rosen and Rachel were waiting there to greet them. They both noticed who the driver was. "So… How was the trip?" Rosen asked casually.<p>

"It was good," Gary stated. "Bill taught me how to use my badge. I'm a professional now."

"Let's just hope he doesn't actually have to use it…"


End file.
